In 2003 During the Major League Baseball season, Rio Quiffs remained five-foot-zero, weighing 385 pounds, and, impossibly, breaking the 138-year-old single-season record, stealing 215 bases. Quiffs also regularly hit the ball in the opposing field – never seen before or after steroid-free beefness. In just two seasons with the Florida Marlins, he batted .680, scored 203 home runs, and came out to charge 46 times. Then, before reaching his Super Alien Prime, Quiffs disappeared into thin air.

A few weeks ago, I received a text from the Marlins manager about what happened to the former Golden Glove winner. Kaifs have fallen through difficult times. The 43-year-old now lives with his uncle in a rented trailer in Nevada, where both Quiffs run a failed-f-strip sausage stand called ‘Kilbasa Kiosk’. The manager tells me he has been divorced twice, has not seen his 15-year-old son in 12 years, and is on probation for attempting a robbery at a bait and tackle shop.

In reality, the Oreo Quifs only exist on a PlayStation 2 memory card, which is now a potential in the Eastern Massachusetts landfill. The manager is my childhood friend Chris, a one-time owner of the EA sports game MVP Baseball 2003. We imagined Quiff one summer night that the only way two 13-year-old boys know how to produce: our lubricant 2 liter Diet Pepsi is glued straight from the bottle, our uterine game Create-A-Player screen. X and Y buttons indicating the chromosomes of our designer baby, we selected his height, weight, cheek structure, speed, vision and batting hot zone. We gave our firstborn son the most wonderful name to think of after 9-11 pubescent brain, and as soon as we got out of the league we watched with pride.

Then, as gamers do, we got bored with our kid, abandoned him, and imagined many more, including garlic pepperonis, whose anatomical absurd chicken-wing-shaped weapons single-handedly led Cal State Fullerton to its first national title in the basketball.College hoops 2 or 6) And FB # 44, the undisputed Alaskan fullback who won four consecutive Heisman Trophies (NCAA Footbal. 2007). Then, on a summer futon coach at a college lodge, I made more kids with other friends, including Uka Prizsevsky, a 7’1 “, 140-pound Bulgarian heavyweight champion (Fight Night Round 2), And Y. Anus, all transition lenses and robin-egg blue sweater vests, who coached the Maine Black Bears for 130 seasons (most of them simulated), and ended his career with an astonishing record of 1,654-19.NCAA Football 2009).

I haven’t played any of these games in a decade, but over the years my friends and I have updated each other on the lives of our created characters. They are all overwhelmed with glory. Piperonis is in jail for embezzling from his alma mater’s dining hall. Anus, now 168, is hiding in Peru, wanted by tax evaders for feeds and by his nine ex-lovers together for his duplication.

Since the oldest millennia have evolved legally, the media is talking about why millennials can’t grow up. Still, I can’t help but take this fact to 32 – at one age, for example, Jesus Christ was leading his friends and then most of humanity to eternal salvation – how my friends and I texted each other during the workday Do we ask how the videogame characters we created as teenagers have become financially insecure, deadbeat fathers with criminal risks and ask if?

Author Sam Ersen recently calmed down that “the world of sports media is basically where American men go to avoid therapy.” It is also great for attracting imitations of sports videogames (where there is a shortage of female players) and videogame characters of fantasy games in particular. As children, we lived their dreams in record-breaking success through their record-shattering, gobsm cking king. As adults, we process their real imaginations and failures through their imaginative shocks and failures.